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Rirkrit Tiravanija isn’t making Thai curry for visitors at the David Zwirner gallery in Chelsea or at Mo MA anymore. The fact that some folks have managed to make the scene while others get left out in the cold is integral to the excitement of participatory art.

The chance to walk through Christo and Jeanne-Claude’s orange Gates in Central Park has long since passed. The thrill is akin to exotic travel, or getting to see Hamilton.

Because not everyone who wants the experience actually gets the experience, these works, even if their intentions and messages are democratic, tend to become exclusive affairs.

As the art historian Claire Bishop notes in Artificial Hells: Participatory Art and the Politics of Spectatorship, one paradox of this sort of participatory work “is that in intensifying convivial relations for a small group of people …

At the Kusama show, the side attractions amount to a more conventional museum experience: a short course in Kusama’s early obsessional work—her repetitive nets, polka dots, and phalluses.

On the floor of one darkened gallery is Violet Obsession (1994), a rowboat and oars covered, both inside and out, with cuddly purple phalluses.Much of the art on my list is designed to involve the observer in ways that no mere gallery-going ever could—and indeed makes the blockbuster exhibitions of the 20th century (Picasso, King Tut, the treasure houses of Britain) seem quaint.Yes, the long lines are still part of the experience, but new elements have been added.In her case, the challenge is not so much getting to the show, but getting into the show, and then getting into each individual room in the show.After you get your prized time slot—and good luck with that—you must wait your turn in not just one line but six.Most important, many of the works on my bucket list invite the spectator to engage more personally with the art. (However, her performance can now be seen as a movie, Manifesto.) You can no longer pay your respects, at the Episcopal Church of the Heavenly Rest on Fifth Avenue, to Sophie Calle’s dead mother by watching an 11-minute video of her death.